Happy New Year!

 Happy New Year!

Looking forward to 2022 with optimism.

I am still trying to work out passwords and photos and such for this space but we've reached that comfortable point of the holidays where the floors are crunchy underfoot and no one really knows what day it is?

Thought I'd do a quick new years "taking stock" post:

Making: calendars for the inlaws and James' office
Getting: excited about being back at kindy next year
Cooking: not much at all - leftovers anyone?
Sipping: blood orange cordial and soda water
Reading: Paris Kiss (about Rodin and his models)
Thinking: That I need to take proper photos on my proper camera this year
Remembering: That I need to look for my SD card and the camera charger
Looking: at the crafty mess on the bedroom floor
Listening: to a far off mower, and the hum of James' electronics
Wishing: it would rain
Enjoying: my gorgeous new-to-me kitchen dresser (still can't believe it was such a bargain and perfect)
Appreciating: how blessed my life is
Wanting: to sort out my craft room
Eating: too much chocolate
Finishing: my test knit for Jessica (hopefully soon)
Liking: Summer dress days
Loving: Braless summer days at home
Buying: a kitchen dresser today, a Kris Kringle gift tomorrow?
Watching: Call the Midwife and Jane Austen films and documentaries on World War 2
Hoping: for trt work in term one (enough that we don't notice that I only have one more regular pay check)
Wearing: Summer floaty dresses and bare feet
Walking: around in my garden a lot
Following: more garden inspiration on instagram
Noticing: that the news makes me anxious
Saving: nice quotes on my phone
Waiting: for the cleaning fairy to do her thing in my craftroom so that I can make a new quilting mess
Bookmarking: funny about that - I received a treasure from my mum for Christmas, one of the original bobbin lace bookmarks I made Gubby when I was first learning bobbin lace, along with two of my early tatted doilies.  How loved did I feel that Gubby had put them aside for me. 
Coveting: Kelsey's kitchen dresser no more! (long standing joke on instagram whenever my friend posts photos with her gorgeous dresser in the background!)
Feeling: so happy and content and in holiday sloth mode and so damn blessed to be living in the lucky country

May this year bring good things for us all,

Keep smiling,

Nell

p.s. last post was written in November but not finished or posted properly?

Hello again!

 Long time no see?  I'm wondering what I need to do in this space?  I still haven't found a decent solution to easily get photos onto the blog, and I think I really want to be able to post to the blog from my ipad but I'm not sure how to make that happen.  Might be time to call my IT guru and book some more time with him over the Christmas holidays.

I also really don't know whether this should be a space for sharing CTMH creations, or knitting, or quilting, or garden and home stuff, and whether it is still okay for it to be a mis-match of all of those things?  I suspect that as no-one reads blogs anymore I can do exactly what I like and just please myself!

My garden is going crazy with the mild Spring weather and extra rain - the roses have come into their own and I love being able to pick big bunches for friends.  The native bee/bird/butterfly friendly garden is finally getting a bit of height to it and I love that I am seeing honeyeaters and finches and parrots again.  I wake to the cacophony of birdsong each morning and it is just wonderful!

We're hurtling towards end of year and Christmas and that feels scary and exciting too.  Big changes as we navigate 2 years post fire, and the first Christmas in our new home, and the first Christmas without the family beach house.  Aldinga has been a huge part of our children's lives and it will feel strange not to have it as a reassuring safe space anymore.  Big changes too as Maddie starts high school, and Hannah begins her final year of high school.  Potentially big changes for me too as I am not sure my contract at my sweet little school will be renewed next year.  I may be back doing TRT work. I have mixed feelings about that.  I am trying not to take it personally but I am emotionally exhausted at the thought of more change and frustrated that, despite teaching since 1997, I am still bouncing from contract to contract with no permanency in sight.  Some days I feel like maybe it is time to walk away - to find a career somewhere else, and yet I know in my heart of hearts that teaching is my passion, and that I can't work in any other field.  It is hard to be so appreciated by the families and children, and so unappreciated by the education system.

My crafting space is a shambles at the moment - I still haven't got my built in storage in there and I ended up with boxes of stuff from the beach house that have no home and are just sitting in corners.  Maybe that will need to be my holiday project?

I'm just hanging out for the start of the Indi Giftalong this year - kind of between big knitting projects and the mojo is at a bit of a low.  I'm contenting myself with a few little baby hats and crocheted hanky edgings.

There has been a bit of Christmas shopping too, and the girls got the Christmas ornaments out of the shed and Hannah has already put up a small tree in her room.  She has a Christmas playlist on Spotify so we will be humming along to Bing all month long!  Maddie requested that I replace the Marg Low advent stockings so there has been a bit of embroidery happening.  I guess I need to think about a Christmas card photo too? 

Home Sweet Home

 It feels like the past month has gone by in a delicious blur.

We are "home" and it feels wonderful.

I wasn't sure how I would go with moving "home" but not home.  This is such a different house to what once stood here.  We've been here enough now though, that I am finding sweet, simple things that work.  I will always miss the old house, but creating little spaces and places here has been wonderful.

My new reading/writing/knitting nook in the bedroom

This table was supposed to be a temporary solution in my craft studio, but when I positioned it under Nanny's window the wood just glowed.  Sitting here, creating, just makes me so happy so we've let go of the idea of built in shelving and will instead go with storage units either side of the desk.  Dean is designing fairy wren stained glass for the outer top window panels and I have plans to plant the red climbing sympathie rose (that came from Nairne as a cutting, and survived the fire) outside the window.

This week, 6 volunteers from Habitat for Humanity SA came and helped me to rescue the old garden walls and replant and mulch.  I cannot believe that it took only 5 hours to recreate something beautiful when all this time I had been looking at it as an insurmountable task.  Not more than 15 minutes after they had left the Magpie family moved in to inspect the new Native garden.  Before I even went to pick Maddie up from school the bees had found the hebe!  Since then we've had so much wildlife returning and it gives me such great pleasure to have a cuppa out the front and just watch the birds and watch my garden grow! I've had a permanent smile on my face ever since.  It is amazing the difference a garden makes to my wellbeing.

Today James helped me to plant the citrus trees, and the Japanese maple and two avocadoes down the front.  He hung the wrapping station baskets in the butler's pantry.  Only little things, but all things that make me feel like we are achieving, and like this is becoming more like home.

Life is good,

Hoping your week gets off to a good start and the sun is shining on you,

Keep smiling,

Nell

Taking Stock - March

 Taking Stock

Making: a replacement baby blanket for Maddie (last 200g ball to go)
Getting: Excited
Cooking: Salmon, and chicken mini roasts, and more Autumnal dishes now that the weather is cooling
Sipping: lemon and ginger cordial with Adelaide Hills Soda Water
Reading: "The Night Portrait"
Waiting: for the house rebuild that never ends (14 months and counting)
Looking: forward to making new memories!
Listening: Norah Jones, Van Morrison, and the relaxation playlist I've created for rest time at school on Spotify
Wishing: We could move into the new house tomorrow (be patient Nell)
Enjoying: Maddie's excitement over the smallest of house things - a $3 hedgehog pencil pot for her room made her so happy!
Appreciating: That I have wonderful friends who are going to put Easter plans on hold to help us move
Eating: Dark chocolate with roast almonds
Liking: How easy our oven baked salmon with beans and tomatoes was for tea tonight - easy and delicious
Loving: the Autumn colour in our beautiful Adelaide Hills
Buying: kitchen stools and mixmasters and lemon squeezers and so many things we have been waiting for
Managing: to juggle work, renting, house project management and all sorts of other crazy bits
Watching: Anne with an "e" - it took me forever to disassociate it from the books and then I was okay to enjoy it
Hoping: The new season of Handmaid's Tale comes to SBS the same time as it hits the U.S.
Wearing: Summer dresses and skirts while I can
Following: Too many vintage/antique/secondhand places on fb and insta
Noticing: That Daniel is almost taller than James
Sorting: clothes, china, books...everything!!!
Getting: Impatient
Bookmarking: The meagre chapter of "The Night Portrait" that I read every night - feels like it is taking so long to read!
Coveting: chesterfields, rocking chairs, cute blue and white lamps
Feeling: a bit lost and discombobulated
Hearing: birdsong this morning when I went to let chooks out

Dreaming: of being "home" soon, so soon!

 

Happiness

I found this old blog post that somehow never got posted. It was written back in 2019 before our lives changed so dramatically but I want to post it now (even if it is out of order) because it is a glimpse into how my life was right then.

Here 'tis:

It is a weird thing isn't it, that humans are so resistant to change..I mean, from the moment we are born we are in a state of change so you would think we would be more used to it.  As many of you already know, this year has been a huge year of change.  I kind of had "change" forced upon me when the job I loved was no longer available and through no fault of my own I became essentially unemployed.

I began doing TRT work - back in classrooms after a 17 year break, often teaching Grades that I had never taught.  In one week alone I managed to teach every age from birth to year 7, and to teach specialist music, drama, art, PE and cooking!  After that I kind of felt like I could take on the world..
As I did more and more TRT days something magical began to happen.. I found that I really loved it.  I was enjoying the challenge.  I was enjoying the wonderful support offered by school staff and parents.  I was enjoying the kids. In fact, I was myth busting a lot of my self-made assumptions about children and learning, and myself as a teacher.  I have always said kindy is my favourite age but what I found was that I have LOVED working with lots of ages.  I actually don't just like kindy kids, I really like kids.  I like that "Ahha" moment when they "get" something.  I like the funny stories they tell.  I like when they feel comfortable to share their stories with me. 

Being a TRT/classroom teacher has had its benefits.  I have been home earlier for my own kiddos and been able to do mum things like make pikelets for afternoon tea, or play a game with them after school.  I have had more nights at home (and in Winter, when it is cold and dark and often wet, it feels like I need to be home and pottering about at night more)  I am definitely not as tired by the end of the week and most often when hubby gets home I am still happy and bubbly and wanting to talk about my day.

2019 brought another significant change.  A friend asked if I would be interested in helping her son with High school assignments and project planning.  At first I felt quite underqualified but then quickly realised that I have an Honours degree in Arts, History and Literature, and a 16 year career in mentoring and coaching about time-management and planning etc through my paper crafting team.  Once again, I surprised myself by actually enjoying spending time with teenagers.  I hadn't long been working with this young man when I was asked to take on a few hours a week with a much younger boy with ASD.  This has been life-changing.  Seeing the world through his eyes is amazing.  Those few hours a week feel like a gift.  He fills my bucket.  He makes me look at the world in ways I have never imagined.  I am learning so much.  I think it is the start of a beautiful friendship.  I am hoping that as we move on his beautiful Mum might let me share more about our rambles here.  I am even reading lots of texts on Autism, and doing my own research into different strategies and approaches.  It feels good to be inspired by something again.

Oddly, whilst I was quietly terrified at the start of the year, and still mourning the loss of a job I loved, I now feel like I am in a really good place.  A happy place.  I have been offered something more ongoing at one of my favourite sites next term, on days that will fit nicely around our life, and I am looking forward to the excitement of having my own classroom again, with kids that I already adore, in a supportive community environment.

Life feels good, and for that I am profoundly grateful.

I have even had time to indulge in reading more books lately and thought I would share a few of my current favourites.

"Why I Jump" is written by a teenager with ASD. Very insightful and a quick read. Fascinating for anyone who works with or lives with people with ASD.


"The Colour Mixing Companion" - gorgeous for teaching, but equally colourful eye candy for anyone who loves art and colour.

"A Year Between Friends" - Beautiful, every time I read it I want to cry, and laugh, and ring my besties.  I love the seasonal nature of this one. Perfect bath reading

"Wordsmith" - a new find.  Janet Clare is a logophile.  Exquisite typography, words, pictures.  Coffee table happiness.

Last but not least, I visited Twisted  Fibre Festival on Saturday and came away with an 1860s copy of "The Knitters Magazine"  It has, among its many patterns, instructions for a "bonnet preserver" and a set of "ladies mufatees"  I adore the primness of the language, the quirkiness of the content and that old book smell.  It is a rare treasure.

So what else is making me happy?  I recently purchased a sweet little slow-stitched journal, which has on its blue and cream cover a dear little squirrel.  It makes me want to do some slow stitching, but more than that, it has me scribbling again - new words that I want to remember, ideas, snippets of my day, random thoughts.  It feels good to be writing again.

I acquired a $7 bunch of poppies from my favourite local deli (which also sells my knitting and cards, and a great selection of plants, and the best hot chips and gravy anywhere!)  They've been on my kitchen table for a week now. Their silken petals make me smile every time I see them.

So what is making you happy right now?
I hope whatever you are doing with your one glorious life you are making the most of it?
Keep smiling,
Nell

Are we there yet?

Apologies for being absent for so long.

To be honest, since I lost one of my most consistent readers (my dear friend Karen last year) I now find myself wondering if anyone is still out there, and if the world has moved beyond blogging?  Is Instagram as good as it gets?

I am grateful to have this blog here, because when I lost all of the photos, it was reassuring to have so many favourites, and so many snippets of my pre-fire life held captive.  The joy of modern technology means I will be able to download and print all of those photos and start to recreate albums.

So where are we at?

We get keys next week. It has not been a fun build.  It has been 14 months that I would rather had not happened the way they did.  I still have days where it feels brutal, and whether I wonder if I will even be able to live in this new house.  It is a very different house to the one I adored.  There are many things I don't like (a stupid pantry because the cabinet maker didn't listen, a massive ugly retaining wall where I once had a bee/bird/butterfly garden, a weird wonky ceiling bit where someone stuffed up) and quite a lot of things I love (that kitchen, my new bath, the wooden floors, my craft studio, the verandahs)  It is definitely new, and modern, and I'm not sure it will really feel like "me" for quite some time.

I talked with another "total-loss"* friend (who moved into her rebuild just before Christmas) and she said that sometimes it is like the new build is on a "ghost house"  - I think that is a good way to describe it.  The light might fall the same way, the view from one window might be the same, but so much is altered, different, and not able to replicate the shadow of the house that was. 

Having said that, the thought of just being in our own space again, the thought of being "home" is so enticing and I feel as though, once we are in and beds are made, I might want to crawl into bed and sleep properly for the first time since the fire.  It feels very much like we will be coming "home" to our haven on the hill and I absolutely can't wait.  I have been so connected to the land there, feeding chooks and/or gardening every day, and somedays just wandering around barefoot lamenting what was.  While the chooks and garden have been a solace and a blessing, I can't wait to be back living there full time - to see and hear birds from my bedroom window, and to begin re-creating gardens and green, quiet spaces around the house.

We are busily packing boxes, and hoping that the real estate can find tenants for the rental and generally obsessing over all the stuff that has to happen between now and next week.

I'll be back with photos of moving in!

Until then,

Keep smiling,

Nell

*I don't personally like that term - we didn't have "total" loss - we didn't lose our friends, our relationships, our memories.  I don't believe anyone had "total" loss and I don't believe grief and recovery can be measured in terms of the haves and have nots.  It was a bushfire. It was shit.  There were no winners. We will all move on in our own way, in our own time.

It is not always about the roses..but sometimes it is..

 Alright, the roses.

Hubby likes to groan anytime I mention them now.  You see, since December 20th you could be forgiven for thinking it is ALL about the roses.

I can't explain it, but on the morning of the 21st, when we pulled into that driveway to see what was left of our home, I fully expected the roses to be gone.. and they weren't..and I found myself exhaling.

It was almost as though, if those roses could survive, and continue to live there, then so could I.

Most of those roses had come back to me, from our Nairne house, where they were planted as housewarming gifts, or new baby gifts, or carefully chosen as bare rooted roses to match and replicate the roses in my wedding bouquet.  In a strange way, those roses were a symbol of our life together, and they endured, so we could too.

I know that is why I was irrationally cross when the army cut hedge branches and piled them on top of them in the clean-up, and why I recently lost the plot when the builders destroyed the two that had come back from total annihilation up by the house.

It is also why I was deliriously happy when my dear friend Julie helped me create a rose garden earlier in the year, and when, after seeing that the two by the house were destroyed, I came home to find that Kirsty and Narelle had been to the nursery and replaced the pink and the yellow rose that were smashed.

Now that Spring has really sprung, my roses have come into their own.  I am once again able to pick big bunches for friends, and my house has roses in every corner.

Maddie has taken a liking to the Graham Thomas and has them in a bud vase in her room.  The red climbing Sympathie has become a little corner of festive cheer with a Christmas candle.

The roses, they just keep making me happy.  They remind me that I can be resilient, and grow through adversity.  They remind me that you can be prickly and beautiful at the same time.

I take delight in the new ones as they flower for the first time. I take delight in the old ones as my favourites just bloom and bloom again.  I take delight in my friend's faces when I say "these are for you"

So it is not all about the roses, but sometimes, it is about finding the simple joys among the mundane or indifferent.

May you always have roses in your life,

May they be a reminder to bloom where you are planted.

Keep smiling,

Nell