Back in Blog Land

 I’m back! I’ve had a flu bug for the last 4 days and was giving myself the luxury of one more slow start this morning when I stumbled back across beautiful Lucy’s Attic 24 blog and was reminded of just how important images of flowers and nature and cute crafty things are to my mental health in Winter. 

She inspired me so much that I had to sweep all of the coldness flu debris off the bedside table and sort and rearrange before I could have my morning coffee 🤣 Then I had to do battle with the ancient iPad and google to get back into my blog 😆

I’ve actually been pretty good this Winter. Not so much of the SADs and pretty good at recognising what I need to do when I get like that. August has been brutal, but August often is. To counteract August I booked myself into a full day poetry workshop with David Chappel (talented and very funny Englishman who is both encouraging and inspirational) and also an afternoon of watercolours with Rebecca Prince. 

I’m still rubbish at watercolours, but I liked her techniques, and I was actually a bit chuffed with how my feather turned out.

The writing workshop reinforced to me that I am actually a much better version of myself when I’m writing and creating so I think that might have been the nudge to get back into blogland too. Now that my children are all young adults they are less okay with me sharing family life and cute pictures of them here, but that is okay because it can evolve more into a bit of a travels/pretty things/creative space? I’m not going to worry too much about whether anyone else sees it. I’ll just know it is there for me?

I’ll probably go back to doing a version of Pip’s “Taking Stock” too because they are fun to look back on!

So for the moment:

Wearing: comfy worn pjs

Loving: my bright yellow Merry boots, sunshine in Winter

Cooking: Anne’s Tomato and Vegetable Soup

Making: endless mitts for charity and thick socks for Fathers Day

Thinking: writing needs to be part of my daily routine

Hearing: tinnitus - it’s been a part of my life for 3 years now, most days it is getting easier but seems to be worse on wet days, and when I’m sick

Dreaming: about our trip back to the UK next year - take me back to Eartham Woods! 

Noticing: the first of the daffies are opening up and there is a delicious hint of Spring this year

Wondering: why we’ve had less ducks this year, and no clutch of fluffy ducklings

Debating: whether now is a good time to hit “publish” and get on with my day 🤣

Taking stock January Edition

These are always fun to look back on!

I’m definitely in holiday mode right now. This is my current view..

I love the afternoon light in this room. I’m resisting packing away the Christmas quilt from our bed. I really need to clean knitting projects off my chair so that I can sit there and write or read.

Anyhow..

Making: acrylic charity hats for Bags with Dignity
Getting: tired in the afternoons (nana nap anyone?)
Cooking: boringly mundane meals, spag bol, curries, mash and vege

Sipping: too much - need a few alcohol free days me thinks
Reading: Lights Out Liverpool (enjoyed so need to find the sequel)
Thinking: I need to get my brain in Kindy Director mode. Lazy holiday days are numbered.
Remembering: That I still need to post some Christmas presents
Looking: At windows that need washing and floors that need vacuuming.
Listening: to the birdsong, so many birds now
Wishing: Peace for this year
Enjoying: extra knitting time, and time in my garden
Appreciating: quiet time
Wanting: the cleaning fairy to visit
Eating: too much chocolate (put on 3 kilos over Christmas when I was doing so well before that!)
Finishing: a few WIPS and odd jobs
Liking: the possibility of baby cuddles soon
Loving: my new wisteria pergola
Buying: bunny hay and tomato seedlings - if they all grow we will have tomatoes coming out our ears
Watching: daggy movies on Netflix just for glimpses of Italy

Hoping: the cleaning fairy visits
Wearing: summer dresses despite it not being summer weather - thank goodness for cardigans
Walking: nope. Should be though. I miss it.
Thinking: I should clean out the pantry
Noticing: I am lacking motivation for aforesaid task
Saving: breadtags and soft plastics 

Waiting: for Summer weather
Wanting: my craftroom magically clean and organised
Coveting: Nothing really - just loving the feeling of abundance in my own life atm.
Feeling: Loved and lucky

Happy Thursday to you,

Keep smiling,

Nell

Xx

 

Happy New Year from our sweet Haven on the Hill.

I know it has been a loooooooongggg time. To be honest, I thought about giving away blogging altogether, but you know, after the fires, when I had only the clothes I stood up in, it was so wonderful to c ome back to this space, and see photos of my babies, and read Stories of our everyday life.

I’ve realised that I really only write for me, as a way of memory keeping, and keeping me grounded. I feel better when I’m writing.

At the start of the year I like to learn new things, so I’m teaching myself how to blog on the iPad, in the hopes that if it is easier I might do it more often.

Right now I’m enjoying lazy Summer holidays as the calm before the storm because this year I’m moving back into leadership at work - I’m equal parts terrified and exhilarated. I know that it will mean a steep learning curve, but I’m excited by the possibilities and looking forward to teaching the way I want to teach. I have a warm, funny, enthusiastic mentor, so it could be a year of amazing things.

A New Year always means new projects. I’m going to aim to make something each month out of my book collection “A year with my bookshelf” and also something from my Ravelry queue “A year with my craft queue”

2022 felt like I got the work/life balance right. I managed to finish more quilts than I ever have before (including a collaboration with Kirsty on a panel for Kat’s grandson, and a quilt for Narelle’s 50th) and getting 4 Christmas quilts done - one for each of the kids and one for the couch. I managed a few crafty weekends away too which was good (but I really miss Aldinga!)

Close to My Heart is ticking along. I’m running my regular workshops and thoroughly enjoying odd full day crops with my team. I’d like to do a weekend away with them this year!

I find “staycations” or holidays at home to be such wonderful things, because right now, three years on from the fire, and 20 months after moving into the rebuild, we are feeling quite comfortable and pleased with where we are at. We recently got lawns, and paths, and retaining walls, and the garden has come into its own. The house feels more nestled in with green growing things around it, and it has lost the “newness”

We had a lovely Christmas and New Year (my friend took this photo from the lawn on New Years Eve) It felt so good to be surrounded by family and friends, and for the entertaining to be effortless. We have everything we need. Life is good.

Happy New Year!

 Happy New Year!

Looking forward to 2022 with optimism.

I am still trying to work out passwords and photos and such for this space but we've reached that comfortable point of the holidays where the floors are crunchy underfoot and no one really knows what day it is?

Thought I'd do a quick new years "taking stock" post:

Making: calendars for the inlaws and James' office
Getting: excited about being back at kindy next year
Cooking: not much at all - leftovers anyone?
Sipping: blood orange cordial and soda water
Reading: Paris Kiss (about Rodin and his models)
Thinking: That I need to take proper photos on my proper camera this year
Remembering: That I need to look for my SD card and the camera charger
Looking: at the crafty mess on the bedroom floor
Listening: to a far off mower, and the hum of James' electronics
Wishing: it would rain
Enjoying: my gorgeous new-to-me kitchen dresser (still can't believe it was such a bargain and perfect)
Appreciating: how blessed my life is
Wanting: to sort out my craft room
Eating: too much chocolate
Finishing: my test knit for Jessica (hopefully soon)
Liking: Summer dress days
Loving: Braless summer days at home
Buying: a kitchen dresser today, a Kris Kringle gift tomorrow?
Watching: Call the Midwife and Jane Austen films and documentaries on World War 2
Hoping: for trt work in term one (enough that we don't notice that I only have one more regular pay check)
Wearing: Summer floaty dresses and bare feet
Walking: around in my garden a lot
Following: more garden inspiration on instagram
Noticing: that the news makes me anxious
Saving: nice quotes on my phone
Waiting: for the cleaning fairy to do her thing in my craftroom so that I can make a new quilting mess
Bookmarking: funny about that - I received a treasure from my mum for Christmas, one of the original bobbin lace bookmarks I made Gubby when I was first learning bobbin lace, along with two of my early tatted doilies.  How loved did I feel that Gubby had put them aside for me. 
Coveting: Kelsey's kitchen dresser no more! (long standing joke on instagram whenever my friend posts photos with her gorgeous dresser in the background!)
Feeling: so happy and content and in holiday sloth mode and so damn blessed to be living in the lucky country

May this year bring good things for us all,

Keep smiling,

Nell

p.s. last post was written in November but not finished or posted properly?

Hello again!

 Long time no see?  I'm wondering what I need to do in this space?  I still haven't found a decent solution to easily get photos onto the blog, and I think I really want to be able to post to the blog from my ipad but I'm not sure how to make that happen.  Might be time to call my IT guru and book some more time with him over the Christmas holidays.

I also really don't know whether this should be a space for sharing CTMH creations, or knitting, or quilting, or garden and home stuff, and whether it is still okay for it to be a mis-match of all of those things?  I suspect that as no-one reads blogs anymore I can do exactly what I like and just please myself!

My garden is going crazy with the mild Spring weather and extra rain - the roses have come into their own and I love being able to pick big bunches for friends.  The native bee/bird/butterfly friendly garden is finally getting a bit of height to it and I love that I am seeing honeyeaters and finches and parrots again.  I wake to the cacophony of birdsong each morning and it is just wonderful!

We're hurtling towards end of year and Christmas and that feels scary and exciting too.  Big changes as we navigate 2 years post fire, and the first Christmas in our new home, and the first Christmas without the family beach house.  Aldinga has been a huge part of our children's lives and it will feel strange not to have it as a reassuring safe space anymore.  Big changes too as Maddie starts high school, and Hannah begins her final year of high school.  Potentially big changes for me too as I am not sure my contract at my sweet little school will be renewed next year.  I may be back doing TRT work. I have mixed feelings about that.  I am trying not to take it personally but I am emotionally exhausted at the thought of more change and frustrated that, despite teaching since 1997, I am still bouncing from contract to contract with no permanency in sight.  Some days I feel like maybe it is time to walk away - to find a career somewhere else, and yet I know in my heart of hearts that teaching is my passion, and that I can't work in any other field.  It is hard to be so appreciated by the families and children, and so unappreciated by the education system.

My crafting space is a shambles at the moment - I still haven't got my built in storage in there and I ended up with boxes of stuff from the beach house that have no home and are just sitting in corners.  Maybe that will need to be my holiday project?

I'm just hanging out for the start of the Indi Giftalong this year - kind of between big knitting projects and the mojo is at a bit of a low.  I'm contenting myself with a few little baby hats and crocheted hanky edgings.

There has been a bit of Christmas shopping too, and the girls got the Christmas ornaments out of the shed and Hannah has already put up a small tree in her room.  She has a Christmas playlist on Spotify so we will be humming along to Bing all month long!  Maddie requested that I replace the Marg Low advent stockings so there has been a bit of embroidery happening.  I guess I need to think about a Christmas card photo too? 

Home Sweet Home

 It feels like the past month has gone by in a delicious blur.

We are "home" and it feels wonderful.

I wasn't sure how I would go with moving "home" but not home.  This is such a different house to what once stood here.  We've been here enough now though, that I am finding sweet, simple things that work.  I will always miss the old house, but creating little spaces and places here has been wonderful.

My new reading/writing/knitting nook in the bedroom

This table was supposed to be a temporary solution in my craft studio, but when I positioned it under Nanny's window the wood just glowed.  Sitting here, creating, just makes me so happy so we've let go of the idea of built in shelving and will instead go with storage units either side of the desk.  Dean is designing fairy wren stained glass for the outer top window panels and I have plans to plant the red climbing sympathie rose (that came from Nairne as a cutting, and survived the fire) outside the window.

This week, 6 volunteers from Habitat for Humanity SA came and helped me to rescue the old garden walls and replant and mulch.  I cannot believe that it took only 5 hours to recreate something beautiful when all this time I had been looking at it as an insurmountable task.  Not more than 15 minutes after they had left the Magpie family moved in to inspect the new Native garden.  Before I even went to pick Maddie up from school the bees had found the hebe!  Since then we've had so much wildlife returning and it gives me such great pleasure to have a cuppa out the front and just watch the birds and watch my garden grow! I've had a permanent smile on my face ever since.  It is amazing the difference a garden makes to my wellbeing.

Today James helped me to plant the citrus trees, and the Japanese maple and two avocadoes down the front.  He hung the wrapping station baskets in the butler's pantry.  Only little things, but all things that make me feel like we are achieving, and like this is becoming more like home.

Life is good,

Hoping your week gets off to a good start and the sun is shining on you,

Keep smiling,

Nell

Taking Stock - March

 Taking Stock

Making: a replacement baby blanket for Maddie (last 200g ball to go)
Getting: Excited
Cooking: Salmon, and chicken mini roasts, and more Autumnal dishes now that the weather is cooling
Sipping: lemon and ginger cordial with Adelaide Hills Soda Water
Reading: "The Night Portrait"
Waiting: for the house rebuild that never ends (14 months and counting)
Looking: forward to making new memories!
Listening: Norah Jones, Van Morrison, and the relaxation playlist I've created for rest time at school on Spotify
Wishing: We could move into the new house tomorrow (be patient Nell)
Enjoying: Maddie's excitement over the smallest of house things - a $3 hedgehog pencil pot for her room made her so happy!
Appreciating: That I have wonderful friends who are going to put Easter plans on hold to help us move
Eating: Dark chocolate with roast almonds
Liking: How easy our oven baked salmon with beans and tomatoes was for tea tonight - easy and delicious
Loving: the Autumn colour in our beautiful Adelaide Hills
Buying: kitchen stools and mixmasters and lemon squeezers and so many things we have been waiting for
Managing: to juggle work, renting, house project management and all sorts of other crazy bits
Watching: Anne with an "e" - it took me forever to disassociate it from the books and then I was okay to enjoy it
Hoping: The new season of Handmaid's Tale comes to SBS the same time as it hits the U.S.
Wearing: Summer dresses and skirts while I can
Following: Too many vintage/antique/secondhand places on fb and insta
Noticing: That Daniel is almost taller than James
Sorting: clothes, china, books...everything!!!
Getting: Impatient
Bookmarking: The meagre chapter of "The Night Portrait" that I read every night - feels like it is taking so long to read!
Coveting: chesterfields, rocking chairs, cute blue and white lamps
Feeling: a bit lost and discombobulated
Hearing: birdsong this morning when I went to let chooks out

Dreaming: of being "home" soon, so soon!

 

Happiness

I found this old blog post that somehow never got posted. It was written back in 2019 before our lives changed so dramatically but I want to post it now (even if it is out of order) because it is a glimpse into how my life was right then.

Here 'tis:

It is a weird thing isn't it, that humans are so resistant to change..I mean, from the moment we are born we are in a state of change so you would think we would be more used to it.  As many of you already know, this year has been a huge year of change.  I kind of had "change" forced upon me when the job I loved was no longer available and through no fault of my own I became essentially unemployed.

I began doing TRT work - back in classrooms after a 17 year break, often teaching Grades that I had never taught.  In one week alone I managed to teach every age from birth to year 7, and to teach specialist music, drama, art, PE and cooking!  After that I kind of felt like I could take on the world..
As I did more and more TRT days something magical began to happen.. I found that I really loved it.  I was enjoying the challenge.  I was enjoying the wonderful support offered by school staff and parents.  I was enjoying the kids. In fact, I was myth busting a lot of my self-made assumptions about children and learning, and myself as a teacher.  I have always said kindy is my favourite age but what I found was that I have LOVED working with lots of ages.  I actually don't just like kindy kids, I really like kids.  I like that "Ahha" moment when they "get" something.  I like the funny stories they tell.  I like when they feel comfortable to share their stories with me. 

Being a TRT/classroom teacher has had its benefits.  I have been home earlier for my own kiddos and been able to do mum things like make pikelets for afternoon tea, or play a game with them after school.  I have had more nights at home (and in Winter, when it is cold and dark and often wet, it feels like I need to be home and pottering about at night more)  I am definitely not as tired by the end of the week and most often when hubby gets home I am still happy and bubbly and wanting to talk about my day.

2019 brought another significant change.  A friend asked if I would be interested in helping her son with High school assignments and project planning.  At first I felt quite underqualified but then quickly realised that I have an Honours degree in Arts, History and Literature, and a 16 year career in mentoring and coaching about time-management and planning etc through my paper crafting team.  Once again, I surprised myself by actually enjoying spending time with teenagers.  I hadn't long been working with this young man when I was asked to take on a few hours a week with a much younger boy with ASD.  This has been life-changing.  Seeing the world through his eyes is amazing.  Those few hours a week feel like a gift.  He fills my bucket.  He makes me look at the world in ways I have never imagined.  I am learning so much.  I think it is the start of a beautiful friendship.  I am hoping that as we move on his beautiful Mum might let me share more about our rambles here.  I am even reading lots of texts on Autism, and doing my own research into different strategies and approaches.  It feels good to be inspired by something again.

Oddly, whilst I was quietly terrified at the start of the year, and still mourning the loss of a job I loved, I now feel like I am in a really good place.  A happy place.  I have been offered something more ongoing at one of my favourite sites next term, on days that will fit nicely around our life, and I am looking forward to the excitement of having my own classroom again, with kids that I already adore, in a supportive community environment.

Life feels good, and for that I am profoundly grateful.

I have even had time to indulge in reading more books lately and thought I would share a few of my current favourites.

"Why I Jump" is written by a teenager with ASD. Very insightful and a quick read. Fascinating for anyone who works with or lives with people with ASD.


"The Colour Mixing Companion" - gorgeous for teaching, but equally colourful eye candy for anyone who loves art and colour.

"A Year Between Friends" - Beautiful, every time I read it I want to cry, and laugh, and ring my besties.  I love the seasonal nature of this one. Perfect bath reading

"Wordsmith" - a new find.  Janet Clare is a logophile.  Exquisite typography, words, pictures.  Coffee table happiness.

Last but not least, I visited Twisted  Fibre Festival on Saturday and came away with an 1860s copy of "The Knitters Magazine"  It has, among its many patterns, instructions for a "bonnet preserver" and a set of "ladies mufatees"  I adore the primness of the language, the quirkiness of the content and that old book smell.  It is a rare treasure.

So what else is making me happy?  I recently purchased a sweet little slow-stitched journal, which has on its blue and cream cover a dear little squirrel.  It makes me want to do some slow stitching, but more than that, it has me scribbling again - new words that I want to remember, ideas, snippets of my day, random thoughts.  It feels good to be writing again.

I acquired a $7 bunch of poppies from my favourite local deli (which also sells my knitting and cards, and a great selection of plants, and the best hot chips and gravy anywhere!)  They've been on my kitchen table for a week now. Their silken petals make me smile every time I see them.

So what is making you happy right now?
I hope whatever you are doing with your one glorious life you are making the most of it?
Keep smiling,
Nell

Are we there yet?

Apologies for being absent for so long.

To be honest, since I lost one of my most consistent readers (my dear friend Karen last year) I now find myself wondering if anyone is still out there, and if the world has moved beyond blogging?  Is Instagram as good as it gets?

I am grateful to have this blog here, because when I lost all of the photos, it was reassuring to have so many favourites, and so many snippets of my pre-fire life held captive.  The joy of modern technology means I will be able to download and print all of those photos and start to recreate albums.

So where are we at?

We get keys next week. It has not been a fun build.  It has been 14 months that I would rather had not happened the way they did.  I still have days where it feels brutal, and whether I wonder if I will even be able to live in this new house.  It is a very different house to the one I adored.  There are many things I don't like (a stupid pantry because the cabinet maker didn't listen, a massive ugly retaining wall where I once had a bee/bird/butterfly garden, a weird wonky ceiling bit where someone stuffed up) and quite a lot of things I love (that kitchen, my new bath, the wooden floors, my craft studio, the verandahs)  It is definitely new, and modern, and I'm not sure it will really feel like "me" for quite some time.

I talked with another "total-loss"* friend (who moved into her rebuild just before Christmas) and she said that sometimes it is like the new build is on a "ghost house"  - I think that is a good way to describe it.  The light might fall the same way, the view from one window might be the same, but so much is altered, different, and not able to replicate the shadow of the house that was. 

Having said that, the thought of just being in our own space again, the thought of being "home" is so enticing and I feel as though, once we are in and beds are made, I might want to crawl into bed and sleep properly for the first time since the fire.  It feels very much like we will be coming "home" to our haven on the hill and I absolutely can't wait.  I have been so connected to the land there, feeding chooks and/or gardening every day, and somedays just wandering around barefoot lamenting what was.  While the chooks and garden have been a solace and a blessing, I can't wait to be back living there full time - to see and hear birds from my bedroom window, and to begin re-creating gardens and green, quiet spaces around the house.

We are busily packing boxes, and hoping that the real estate can find tenants for the rental and generally obsessing over all the stuff that has to happen between now and next week.

I'll be back with photos of moving in!

Until then,

Keep smiling,

Nell

*I don't personally like that term - we didn't have "total" loss - we didn't lose our friends, our relationships, our memories.  I don't believe anyone had "total" loss and I don't believe grief and recovery can be measured in terms of the haves and have nots.  It was a bushfire. It was shit.  There were no winners. We will all move on in our own way, in our own time.

It is not always about the roses..but sometimes it is..

 Alright, the roses.

Hubby likes to groan anytime I mention them now.  You see, since December 20th you could be forgiven for thinking it is ALL about the roses.

I can't explain it, but on the morning of the 21st, when we pulled into that driveway to see what was left of our home, I fully expected the roses to be gone.. and they weren't..and I found myself exhaling.

It was almost as though, if those roses could survive, and continue to live there, then so could I.

Most of those roses had come back to me, from our Nairne house, where they were planted as housewarming gifts, or new baby gifts, or carefully chosen as bare rooted roses to match and replicate the roses in my wedding bouquet.  In a strange way, those roses were a symbol of our life together, and they endured, so we could too.

I know that is why I was irrationally cross when the army cut hedge branches and piled them on top of them in the clean-up, and why I recently lost the plot when the builders destroyed the two that had come back from total annihilation up by the house.

It is also why I was deliriously happy when my dear friend Julie helped me create a rose garden earlier in the year, and when, after seeing that the two by the house were destroyed, I came home to find that Kirsty and Narelle had been to the nursery and replaced the pink and the yellow rose that were smashed.

Now that Spring has really sprung, my roses have come into their own.  I am once again able to pick big bunches for friends, and my house has roses in every corner.

Maddie has taken a liking to the Graham Thomas and has them in a bud vase in her room.  The red climbing Sympathie has become a little corner of festive cheer with a Christmas candle.

The roses, they just keep making me happy.  They remind me that I can be resilient, and grow through adversity.  They remind me that you can be prickly and beautiful at the same time.

I take delight in the new ones as they flower for the first time. I take delight in the old ones as my favourites just bloom and bloom again.  I take delight in my friend's faces when I say "these are for you"

So it is not all about the roses, but sometimes, it is about finding the simple joys among the mundane or indifferent.

May you always have roses in your life,

May they be a reminder to bloom where you are planted.

Keep smiling,

Nell

Keep Looking Forward

 Hmmm. 

It has been a confronting few weeks. 2 more friends lost their mums, and we finally had some progress on the block.

I didn't expect that to trigger me the way it did, but 400 tonne of clay and rubble in the middle of where your house used to be is bound to be a little confronting.

I had always thought that I would replant the bee/bird/butterfly garden out the back and when they cut the site they cut right to the back fence and the side fence.  I feel bad for the neighbours, and at this moment I can't imagine how I will be able to have any sort of garden back there.

So far, it feels like nothing about this build has been simple.  They were going to leave the fill down the front for us and then a) it was too wet and would delay by weeks and b) they were going to charge $100 an hour to move it from the top of the block to the bottom.

We got a quote to get it taken away, and then found someone close by who would take it but they weren't interested in that.  Tonight James visited the site after work and tried to save some of the big rocks for me for garden beds etc.  He called me and asked me to come back with him after tea instead of walking.  How beautiful are our friends. My walking crew sent their husbands over to help and we managed to save quite a lot of rocks in a short space of time.  Many hands make light work - so often this year I have been amazed and overwhelmed by how supportive this group of friends are!

Right now it feels like we are the furtherest away from the old house and the furtherest away from the new house.  Kind of in this limbo - a wilderness at the mercy of contractors and bureaucrats.  I am determined that one day soon we will be closer to a new house so for now it is about baby steps that will move us in the right direction.

My garden has been such a solace. The roses are blooming prolifically now, and on the weekend my lovely friend Lea-Anne came with me on a jaunt to Mt Pleasant to pick up this little blue chair! I love it.  I feel like I can sit in it and turn my back on the rubble and house site and just watch the ducklings on the duckpond, and the birds flitting in and out of the roses.

Funny how quickly wildlife adapt to new habitats.  We have magpies nesting right near the house site and galahs further down in a hollow log.  The wood ducks hatched a clutch of 8 babies and a heron has moved into the pond.

Today the first of my big Close to My Heart Re-tooling orders arrived.  This was a wonderful Business Recovery Iniative and will go a long way towards replacing thin cuts and inks and cardstock.

I spent some time yesterday getting inky and making some cards for Sue to sell at the Garden Open Day.  I feel like we have been so supported by so many throughout this process and it feels good to be able to give back, even in small ways.

I've had some IT support too, so learning new ways of using my technology to help grow my business - I think we may finally have sorted the phone photos to blog issue!!!

Anyhow, I have to run and put the chooks in, but I am still here, and hoping to blog more frequently from now on!
Keep smiling,

Nell

October Taking Stock

 It is somewhat tradition for me to do a "taking stock" on the October school holidays.

It feels like last term was the longest in history.

We all needed a break so it has been quite a cruisy, quiet school holidays.

I'm still not sure what is happening blog wise.  It feels like I'm not ready to give up on this space, but I need to find a way to easily import photos and update it.  Sometimes it feels like I have nothing to say, and other times it feels like I have too much to say, but not the words to say it.

I recently lost a dear friend who kept me accountable in this space (and sometimes reminded me gently that it was time for another blog post)  She is the 6th important person lost to me this year and that really hurts.  It feels like there is quite a bit of hurt and trauma in the world at the moment.

Anyhow, here it is,

where we are right now:

Making: DK boot socks - so quick and easy I am a bit obsessed
Cooking: chicken dumplings from the Central markets
Sipping: about to have a cup of tea?

Reading: Accordian Crimes (a thoroughly sensory book - lots of vivid descriptions)

Waiting: for work to start on our house

Looking: for lava lamps for Dan's birthday
Listening: to the sound of kids brushing teeth and hubby watching Bear Grylls
Wishing: holidays could last another week
Enjoying: slow paced mornings 
Appreciating: sleep ins and cooked breakfasts
Eating: cheese, lots of cheese
Liking: thinking about Christmas
Loving: knitting,  and scrapping, and hanging at home
Buying: Dan's birthday presents and small things for Christmas stockings
Managing: some low-level anxiety about the house, and next term, and the prospect of being unemployed come December 11th
Watching: The Handmaid's Tale again (what else to watch in this world gone crazy?)
Hoping: for a better 2021
Wearing: Summer dresses even though it is technically not warm enough!
Following: lots of antique/vintage instagram posts
Noticing: Spring blossom and flowers
Sorting: photos
Getting: impatient with the lack of building progress
Coveting: a house
Feeling: a bit blah

Happy Tuesday to you,

May we all find joy in the simple things.

Keep smiling,

Nell

xx

6 Months later..

6 months ago, on this day, a fire ripped through our beautiful little hills community and tore many lives apart.
My "forever" home was one of the unlucky ones.
It stills seems somewhat surreal that in a matter of minutes we went from this:

to this:

and the very next day we lost one of the most influential people in my life, my dear Nanny.

6 months on, it still hurts.

Losing Nanny will always be with me, but I know she is at peace and with her beloved Wally, and I still feel their presence in my life more than you would imagine.  I can look at this photo and smile, and make her recipes and feel happy.  She is closest to me when I am pottering in my garden, or mucking about with house plants, and when I see a great sunset, and when the kookaburras and parrots come to visit at the house site.

Losing the house, and the tragedies that overtook our little town that day, and since, still hurts.  The Recovery Centre are now talking about the "fire scar" and I kind of like that analogy since some scars are big and ugly and visible, and others are private, or internal, or hidden.  No one else knows how deep your scar runs, or which days it hurts the most, and I think that is true for almost everyone who was living in our area at the time.  We certainly don't have the monopoly on grief and loss.  I am reminded of this daily.  Our poor little town has been through so much, and some scars take much longer to heal than others.

I had to really think about whether I wanted to write this.  Our journey has been quite a public one and I wasn't sure whether I wanted to "mark" the anniversary or even acknowledge it, but you know what, it takes a village to get through something like this, and I am so very often reminded of that too.  Our "village", and all of those who've supported us in so many ways deserve to know how we are going.

We live in an incredibly special place and we have been helped through this by a multitude of friends, family, total strangers.  We live in a lucky country, and have received help from Federal and State and Local Government, and numerous aid agencies and community-minded individuals. 

Our rebuild will be "the house that love built" and I like to fantasize about a big open house warming in the front paddock when the house is to lock up stage to say thank you to everyone who made it possible.

So 6 months on, where are we at?
The rebuilding process is slow.  Our block was the first cleared in South Australia.  Green Industries did a tremendous job and the State Government picked up the hefty bill.  Our insurance company (RAA) have been fabulous to deal with and we were given a total loss payout.  Our mortgage company (Aussie Home Loans) and our local broker (David Hartas) really looked after us and we will certainly be re-mortgaging with them.
James' shed went up in April.
We are rebuilding with Oakford Homes (whom we built our first home with at Nairne 13 years ago)
Oakford are excellent to work with and have provided equal amounts of compassion and common sense.  We have faith in them and know that we will have a house we love at the end of it.
We were fortunate to find a tiny rental in Lobethal and it has been wonderful to be able to remain connected to the friends and community we love so much.
Our plans are currently with council and we hope to have final approval and a start date very, very soon.

In the meantime, I go out to our "home" most days.  Even without our house, it still feels like "home"  I still get that same goofy smile when I turn into the drive. I still love the sound of birdsong - the kookaburra that laughs at me a few times a week, the parrots that swoop in and pinch my rosebuds.  It is still my "Haven on the Hill"  I love it still.

Big blessings to you.

Keep smiling,

Nell

xx

Taking Stock Holiday Edition

Grief is such a weird thing.  It just up and hits you when you least expect it.  I can be having a perfectly good day and then the smallest thing can just whammo and all of a sudden you realise that your eyes are leaking again.

We continue to have a series of unfortunate events happening to several of those around us.  This is a trend that has continued from late 2019 and honestly doesn't feel like it will be clearing anytime soon. It makes me sad, and sometimes it makes me bone-numbingly tired..like I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a really long time and then wake up to a world made new without all of the current pain and angst.  The scenes in Italy, my beloved Italy, and New York..not really any words big or meaningful enough.  My heart is just so sore.  There may have been a fair bit of self medicating with alcohol and chocolate.  I have put all thoughts of diet aside for the moment.  This year is NOT the year.

Throughout all the blah, good things are still happening and I am still trying to find sweet, simple pleasures where I can.  We are in full-blown Autumn now, and I find myself turning to nourishing soups and stews, and home-cooking, and candles, and warm socks and knitting projects.

It has been a funny kind of holiday.  Hasn't really felt like a holiday.  Part of me could still do with another week before going back to work, and another part of me craves the "normality" of work - even though nothing is really that normal there either at the moment.

I am taking enormous pleasure in spinning (my new wheel and I are now like "peas and carrots") and knitting (especially a big basket of wool scraps that Tanya dropped off this week - it feels wonderful to have "scraps" again) and slow, meditative stitching.

So here it is, the April list:

Taking Stock

Making: vivid orange monster socks and scrap mitts for ACAN
Cooking: Irish Soda Bread and Potato and Leek Soup

Sipping: Ginscato - dangerous!

Reading: Just finished "Knitting" again - such a perfect, comforting, cozy holiday read made even more special by the fact that my friend Anne gifted me one of her author's copies to replace mine.  Such a special gift.

Looking: At a lovely big basket of wool scraps, and the most amazing Dorset buttons (thanks Tanya!)

Listening: To wind howling outside
Wishing: The year was done with already and everyone was in a much happier, more optimistic, place
Enjoying: Too many Lindt balls
Eating: Chocolate and scorched almonds
Liking: my beautiful brown leather boots (gifted from a friend who can no longer wear them)
Loving: how well my kids are coping with this whole self-isolating covid experience
Buying: a bit of stash enhancement (would have been Bungaree this weekend!) and clothes for Hannah for her birthday
Watching: Anne with and "E" - this is my second go at it as the first time I couldn't shake off the fact that it is soooooo removed from the books.  I'm enjoying it now that I am treating it as a completely different series in no way related to those beautiful books
Hoping: That my friend might finally give me back my Downton dvds so I can binge watch season 1 this weekend
Needing: to cling fast and hold tight to small, simple pleasures
Wearing: Olive corduroy skirt (yay for Karma East)
Following: lots of crochet patterns and home vintage ideas on instagram, and lots of home studio ideas on pinterest
Noticing: how much I miss the social interaction with my "support crew" - how different the holidays are without them
Sorting: colours for a test shawl - how can I have about 10 skeins of sock wool and still not have 2 skeins that play nicely together?
Getting: mildly concerned that I can't think what I feel like making for tea
Saving: chocolate wrappers and toilet rolls for Maddie's covid "making" projects
Bookmarking: recipes, and a gazillion knitting projects that I will probably never get around to
Coveting: more wool, and more buttons, and the luxury of a space big enough to quilt or scrapbook
Feeling: emotionally drained and missing my friends and my old life, but grateful that we are all safe and have a roof over our heads and financial security to get through this

I know this crazy time too will pass and hopefully before we know it, restrictions will ease and life will feel more "normal"  I am full of gratitude for the many small kindnesses people are still showing to help us through.

Photos next time I promise, and hopefully more optimism too!

Keep smiling and stay safe,

Nell

xx