Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Taking Stock Holiday Edition

Grief is such a weird thing.  It just up and hits you when you least expect it.  I can be having a perfectly good day and then the smallest thing can just whammo and all of a sudden you realise that your eyes are leaking again.

We continue to have a series of unfortunate events happening to several of those around us.  This is a trend that has continued from late 2019 and honestly doesn't feel like it will be clearing anytime soon. It makes me sad, and sometimes it makes me bone-numbingly tired..like I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a really long time and then wake up to a world made new without all of the current pain and angst.  The scenes in Italy, my beloved Italy, and New York..not really any words big or meaningful enough.  My heart is just so sore.  There may have been a fair bit of self medicating with alcohol and chocolate.  I have put all thoughts of diet aside for the moment.  This year is NOT the year.

Throughout all the blah, good things are still happening and I am still trying to find sweet, simple pleasures where I can.  We are in full-blown Autumn now, and I find myself turning to nourishing soups and stews, and home-cooking, and candles, and warm socks and knitting projects.

It has been a funny kind of holiday.  Hasn't really felt like a holiday.  Part of me could still do with another week before going back to work, and another part of me craves the "normality" of work - even though nothing is really that normal there either at the moment.

I am taking enormous pleasure in spinning (my new wheel and I are now like "peas and carrots") and knitting (especially a big basket of wool scraps that Tanya dropped off this week - it feels wonderful to have "scraps" again) and slow, meditative stitching.

So here it is, the April list:

Taking Stock
Making: vivid orange monster socks and scrap mitts for ACAN
Cooking: Irish Soda Bread and Potato and Leek Soup
Sipping: Ginscato - dangerous!
Reading: Just finished "Knitting" again - such a perfect, comforting, cozy holiday read made even more special by the fact that my friend Anne gifted me one of her author's copies to replace mine.  Such a special gift.
Looking: At a lovely big basket of wool scraps, and the most amazing Dorset buttons (thanks Tanya!)
Listening: To wind howling outside
Wishing: The year was done with already and everyone was in a much happier, more optimistic, place
Enjoying: Too many Lindt balls
Eating: Chocolate and scorched almonds
Liking: my beautiful brown leather boots (gifted from a friend who can no longer wear them)
Loving: how well my kids are coping with this whole self-isolating covid experience
Buying: a bit of stash enhancement (would have been Bungaree this weekend!) and clothes for Hannah for her birthday
Watching: Anne with and "E" - this is my second go at it as the first time I couldn't shake off the fact that it is soooooo removed from the books.  I'm enjoying it now that I am treating it as a completely different series in no way related to those beautiful books
Hoping: That my friend might finally give me back my Downton dvds so I can binge watch season 1 this weekend
Needing: to cling fast and hold tight to small, simple pleasures
Wearing: Olive corduroy skirt (yay for Karma East)
Following: lots of crochet patterns and home vintage ideas on instagram, and lots of home studio ideas on pinterest
Noticing: how much I miss the social interaction with my "support crew" - how different the holidays are without them
Sorting: colours for a test shawl - how can I have about 10 skeins of sock wool and still not have 2 skeins that play nicely together?
Getting: mildly concerned that I can't think what I feel like making for tea
Saving: chocolate wrappers and toilet rolls for Maddie's covid "making" projects
Bookmarking: recipes, and a gazillion knitting projects that I will probably never get around to
Coveting: more wool, and more buttons, and the luxury of a space big enough to quilt or scrapbook
Feeling: emotionally drained and missing my friends and my old life, but grateful that we are all safe and have a roof over our heads and financial security to get through this
I know this crazy time too will pass and hopefully before we know it, restrictions will ease and life will feel more "normal"  I am full of gratitude for the many small kindnesses people are still showing to help us through.
Photos next time I promise, and hopefully more optimism too!
Keep smiling and stay safe,
Nell
xx

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