Strange Days Indeed..

So since the 20th of December it feels a little like I have been living someone else's life.  Things just keep getting weirder and weirder. 

The 20th of December started like any other Summer day.  It was my first day of the school holidays to really get things done - wrapping presents, paying bills, writing Christmas cards..

My friend Kathy dropped in with my Christmas Swap Parcel and some self-selected Christmas fibre.  We had a cup of tea.  My phone beeped.  My contract for teaching first Semester back at the little school that I love had just been approved.  Kathy left, and as she did so, the first of the spotter planes flew over.  "Here we go" she said, giving me a hug, "Stay safe"

Soon after the CFS app alerted us that a fire had started at Fox Creek.  I know that road well and knew that with the strong winds and steep terrain it would not be easy to contain.  Hannah's friend began texting her, "Are you leaving? It is getting closer! It is heading towards Lobethal"

We kept checking the updates and I asked the kids to pack an overnight bag "just in case"
I am thankful that the Sampson Flat Fires had taught us to be better prepared.  Our "fire box" was right by the door.

My dear friend Jacquie messaged me; "If things get hairy you are welcome to come here for a cuppa"
Within a few hours the smoke plume was looming larger, the wind had picked up,  the water bombers kept flying over and Lobethal looked like it was in the firing line.

James was on a job at Mt Torrens.  We talked on the phone and I told him we were preparing to leave.  He said he was almost finished and would come home after, just hold on until he got home and we would make a plan.

Within the next half hour Hannah's friend was getting panicked and social media was beginning to heat up.  We made the decision not to wait for James and to just go to Jacquie's until it all blew over.

We loaded the rabbit, the kids' baby and school albums, our wedding album and a few favourite framed photos into the car, along with the electronics, and, as an afterthought, James's precious guitar.  I did not take a single craft project, even though there was a half-finished shawl on the table, socks in my handbag, and I moved my jumper project off the albums to put them in the car!  I was wearing my daggiest undies and my favourite (but almost dead) bra.  Although I had asked the kids to pack an overnight bag, I took the plastic bag with my clothes off of the emergency supplies box to put more albums in!

On the way to Jacquie's I reassured the kids.  "You're not worried are you? My house burned down when I was a little girl.  We are not in a high risk area.  I wonder what the odds are of your house burning down twice? I give our house a 0.28% chance of burning down" WHAT ARE THE ODDS??

The kids and I had a lovely visit with Jacquie and Lily and Paul. Our bunny, Marmalade got to play with Lily's bunny, Billy.  Jacquie and Paul were so good at keeping things calm and happy as the situation in Lobethal ramped up.

By about 3 o'clock it was pretty evident that we would not be going back to Lobethal that night and we got the devastating news that our neighbour across the road had lost her house.  Nicole is the epitomy of a good neighbour - we have reciprocal pet-feeding rights, and my heart just broke for her.  I also knew, at that point, that our odds had dramatically gone up.  I knew that if the fire jumped the road, or an ember got into one of our gum trees, it was all over. 

We left Jacquie's and went down to Aldinga to my inlaws' beach house.  The beach house is our "home away from home" and my kids have had their own beds there since Maddie was a baby.  James's parents arrived shortly after we got there and then James came down after work.

He had been there for about 10 minutes when we got the call that we had been dreading.  I am thankful for two things - we were all together as a family in a safe place when we got that call.  We heard from a trusted family friend, who called us from our driveway, to tell us that there was nothing left.

Just like that, my dream home, my happy-as-a-pig-in-mud, Haven on the Hill was gone.  Since then, life has been surreal.

The days and weeks after the fire are a blur - a strange mismash of waiting in line, filling in forms, shopping for something more than the clothes on our backs.  Let me stress that we were some of the lucky ones.  We felt loved and supported from all sides.  We still do.

It has been a very strange time.  We have seen the kindness of strangers, and felt the power of love from friends and family and community.

We also understand that we are not alone in our grief. Our little town has lost so much.  There are many who have lost much, and there are also those who may not have had physical losses but have been emotionally scarred.  It will take time for our town to heal.

It has taken time, lots of time, to be able to think and process before writing about it here.  I wasn't sure that I would.  I wasn't sure that I would ever blog again.  It was only the fact that I scrolled back one night, looking for photos of our beautiful home, and saw so much of our life documented here, that made me want to document this part too.

The day after the fire we lost my beloved Nanny. That is a whole other blog post for a whole other time.  We also lost a second cousin, in the prime of life, totally unexpectedly the same day.  The day of the fire was my brother's birthday.  The day we lost Nanny was my Gubby's 99th birthday.  It seems just so incomprehensible.

February brought fresh heartache with the funeral of a sweet baby girl (some of you may have read about Dot's battle with Mito on facebook)  Our little town, already awash with grief, is still grieving anew for this beautiful little girl and her family.  She will be loved and remembered.

And then in March, James's Aunt lost her battle with cancer.  Four funerals in three months, two of them children.  Tough stuff.

And now, well now, we have this new crazy situation unfolding.  I was down to a class of 7 yesterday.  Almost half of our school were away.  It feels as though we are just waiting for them to make the call to shut schools.  All sporting events are off.  Many other events are cancelling (including the awesome Bungaree Ravelry Retreat I go to each year)  Quarantine/home lockdown is looking more and more likely.  Ironically, at home, in the old house, a fortnight's staycation would have filled me with delight.  Here, in this little rental, without familiar things, without a substantial fibre stash, or any freezer space, or indeed, any room to get away from each other when we need to, I suspect it may not be quite so much fun.

We will get through this.  I know that, but it does feel like our lives this year are not really our own, like we are in some strange holding pattern, and sadly, I am already looking forward to 2021.  I love that quote about "What will you do with your one extraordinary life" - it goes against my nature not to live life to the fullest, but I suspect that this year might be more about treading water, and grasping the small, sweet, simple moments with both hands.

Until next time, may you enjoy health, happiness and love,
Stay strong,
Keep smiling,
Nell