This feels like it has been the longest holidays. We have had SOOOO much fun. There have been playdates, trips to several playgrounds, beach days, family days, lots of baking, licking of spoons and bowls, lots of "making" - sewing and scrapping and papercrafts. There have been tea parties, water fights, sprinklers, wading pools and picnics. Yet as I write this my daughter is sobbing in her room because I won't put up the 7 person tent so that she can sleep in it tonight. My littlest has fallen asleep on the floor of her room after crying herself to sleep because mean, mean Mummy said that 3 days of no nap was 3 days too many. My son has just grudgingly put back a huge box of hand-me-downs that he emptied and threw about the room in a fit of rage. Despite a puppet show, a visit from a lovely friend, and a whole pack of chocolate biscuits, it has been a TOUGH day.
I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to write this here but you see, I don't keep a diary anymore, I blog instead and I like to hope that maybe there are others out there who know and understand my frustrations.
I adore my kids. I would do anything for them (well, almost anything, putting up a tent on a whim on the one night of the week that I selfishly reserve as my own is not one of them - wink) but I want to say this PARENTING IS A TOUGH GIG.
In lots of ways I find my paid job (teaching preschoolers) far easier than the 24/7 kid wrangling. Most of the time I have great kids, but put all 3 at loggerheads with each other and me and it can be hellish, and at the end of the day you rarely get any thanks or appreciation. I look around at the crumbs, and the sticky patch of I'm-not-sure-what near the fridge, and the shoes left wherever they were taken off and I am just a bit bewildered by it all. I have been a parent for 7 and a half years and somedays I still feel as powerless and as clueless as when they first placed that tiny newborn in my arms.
Please don't get me wrong. This is not a wallowing in self-pity or a woe-is-me lament, this is me saying "Is this normal?" Is there anyone else out there who sometimes feels like it is all too much, and like it might never get easier? Is anyone else fervently looking forward to Monday? It makes me so sad that I feel like this. I am hoping that the insane sibling rivalry stuff and the throwing/destructive stuff and the temper tantrums are all just a passing phase. Please tell me that you have been there too. Please tell me that you understand? Please tell me that this is a temporary gliche in an otherwise happy house.
Yours from the crumbs and chaos,
Nell
4 comments:
this is why i have dogs!ST
YES IT"S NORMAL!! Of course it's normal, we're not superpeople, just people. And I agree, parenting is really hard. There are days when I just want to get out of here - not permanently, but just for a day!
Something I think about life's difficulties is that we endure them, God takes them and stores them up like treasure that is then given to us at the end.
Parenting is the same. We do our best, endure the hardship and eventually the treasures start to come back to us.
Do your children feel loved? I bet they do, and that alone is an indication that you're doing well. Not giving into every whim is good parenting.
Keep up the good work Nell :)
Yes, Nell, totally normal. We ALL have days like that. And you are a MUCH better Mum than many.
Sometimes mean Mum is actually the better Mum: the kids won't appreciate it at the time, but that's the discipline, etc.
xxx and hugs to you.
Oh Nell - you are by no means a 'mean mean mummy'. I can totally get where you are coming from, these have been really LONG holidays. My kiddies return to school tomorrow, I think that we are all ready. You have always been a beautiful person and a wonderful Mum, how lucky your 3 kidlets are to have you as their Mum. I look forward to another catch up on my next visit. Love and Hugs, Roz xoxo
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